Sure, I’ll Cut Your Hair by Dr. Arlinda López Rodríguez

My husband William has always hated having to go cut his hair. One day he tells me, “You can cut my hair,” and got me an electric hair cutting machine. I looked at his curly hair and said, “Alright, let’s give it a try.” I timidly began to shave his hair with the machine and quickly got the hang of it.  Soon I said, “Ok, I finished.” He looked at himself in the mirror and told me, “Not bad. Thanks.”

          A couple of days later my brother José comes home and William tells him, “What do you think of my haircut?” José says, “It looks good.” William tells him, “Arlinda cut it.” José then looks at me and says, with a pleading look on his face, “I need a haircut too, ¿tu me lo cortas?” I told him, “If you really want me to, fine.” He sat down, I looked for the electric hair cutting machine and made sure it was oiled and ready to go.

I turned on the machine and started to cut his hair when all of a sudden, the machine seemed to have a life of its own. It slipped and slid across the top of his head since he had very straight hair. I froze and said, “Oops!”, and he asked, “¿Qué pasó?” I answered, “Nada.” I got a pair of scissors and finished cutting his hair. I put gel in his hair and blow dried it. “Ok, I finished.” José went to the bathroom mirror and told me, “Not bad, it looks good, thanks.”

          The next morning the phone rang, it was José calling me. I answered, “Hello?” He answered, “Chacho, Arlinda, me mataste.” When he tried to comb his hair that morning, he discovered he had spots with super short hair and others with long hair. Needless to say, I never cut José’s hair again.

---